A while back someone asked me where my favorite place I've ever lived had been.. I didn't even hesitate to answer "Saratoga Springs, Utah". But why? After living on islands surrounded by warm water, or a city with such rich culture that I found something new everyday and my answer is Saratoga Springs?? But why??
Let's take it back. Back to when I lived on an island, I lived in a house I'll probably never be able to afford, didn't pay a single bill, worked a VERY good job with my husband. Fast forward today and I live in a decent size home, pay more bills than I thought someone could pay, and expecting a baby that I am 100% clueless about how to raise. And yet... I couldn't be happier.
Saratoga Springs was the first place I actually lived. Over 2 years ago I moved from the Caribbean and to a big city. I still remember on the plane breaking down when I looked down and saw city lights and no cruise ships... I cried in seat 16A until we landed. I want to be very clear, I loved my island living, and my city living, and all the adventures that went along with it. BUT.. Saratoga Springs was the first place I didn't feel numb. If you read my last blog post, you know that I suffered from depression and anxiety pretty bad… but today, I'm good. And really good, not just have good days good, but everyday is a good day.
I remember praying so hard for my depression to go away, I remember eating healthy, working out, and taking medication to try and get a sense of relief and no matter how hard I tired or how bad I wanted it, the cloud was still there. Then the craziest thing happened... I woke up one day, and it was gone. The thoughts were gone, the desire to live was there. I have no idea what happened, I have my theories, but the truth is it doesn't matter. I am living. I am happy. and I love Saratoga Spring, Utah!
So yes, if you ask me where my favorite place I’ve ever lived was, I’m going to answer right here. Here in this little town I now call mine, this home I get to bring a baby home to, and yes the home I pay A LOT of bills for. So to those of you out there struggling with anxiety and depression, I just want to let you know I’m sorry. Everyone is different so I’m not going to say I know what you’re going through, but just know I am sorry. I’m sorry for this exhausting, gut wrenching, lost hope, feeling you are going through. I pray one day you wake up… and start living.
Pics of some the places we have lived ↓
