Moving to the Caribbean won't solve your problems

This will most likely be the hardest blog I have ever wrote, but I keep coming back to it so I take that as a sign that these thoughts are not meant to be in my head anymore and its time to put them out on paper. 

I lived in the Caribbean for almost 2 years and I loved it. I love that every day off feels like a vacation, I love that I can island hop on a Saturday and be back by dinner , I love the culture, the atmosphere, and I love the people who make it feel like home. It is my home. Since I turned 18, living in in St. Thomas has been the longest place I have ever stayed. Yes there are some down falls for sure (refer to blog post 1), but theres something nobody sees.. and it’s time for me to address it. 

Living in the Caribbean won’t solve your problems. Since moving to an island I have developed anxiety and depression. WHAT!? How can someone look out every morning from a nice home that they don’t pay rent for, see one of the world’s top most beautiful beach, have a good paying job, a solid relationship, and yet their constantly anxious? I don’t know. If I understood it I would probably be writing some doctors my theories not this blog for some people to read. 

I laugh when people say that moving and being a beach bum would solve all their problems, it won’t. I tried. It has taken me about 9 months, 9 solid hard months to get a grip on my anxiety, and I am NOT saying it’s cured and I don’t have anymore problems, or that I am a doctor in ANY sense. I just have some little pieces of advice that I wish someone would have told me. And no… living in the Caribbean isn’t one of them. 

GET HELP. 

I use to view going to the doctor about anxiety, or being on medication was crazy. Like only crazy people do that right? I couldn’t have been more wrong. There is anxiety and depression medication out there for a reason… because people NEED it. And it’s OKAY to add your name to that list. When I finally went to a doctor to get help it was one the scariest things I could have ever done. I was worried she wouldn’t believe me or think I was crazy.. and guess what happened. She understood. She wrote me a prescription, recommended a therapist, and reassured me I was okay. I don’t take my medication every day, or really much at all.. BUT for me just the assurance that they are in my back pack and I could take them anytime I wanted is enough for me. FAIR WARNING anxiety medication can be highly addictive, I recommend letting someone you know, love, and trust hold on to your medication for you and give it to you when you ask, but that’s just my opinion. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

Everyone gets anxious and sad, but that doesn’t mean they have anxiety or depression. Anxiety is when you wake up at 3 am and drive down to the store you manage because you can’t remember a specific SKU or when you get off work and just cry and break down about everything that could have gone better. I use to think I was just feeling anxious and couldn’t get a grip on things because something was wrong with me. I couldn’t get a grip on things because I was human. There are A LOT more people out there with both anxiety and depression. More than you probably realize, than I probably realize, you/we are not alone. I thought since I had such a good life, or wasn’t busy with kids, and lived in the Caribbean that I couldn’t get anxiety.. I wish someone would have told me that anxiety chooses their victims, regardless of your gender, status, race, or any other variable. People get anxiety and depression. 

DIET/HEALTHY EATING.

I hate dieting, actually hate isn’t a strong enough word… I completely LOATH ENTIRELY dieting, and thats because diets are so temporary. Every time I would attempt a diet I would post sticky notes on my mirror as a countdown for when my diet was over and I could start shoving my face with cookies while spooning Nutella in my mouth! My doctor was shocked when she asked how often I worked out and I answered 6 times a week every morning. Exercise is the number one recommend antidote for anxiety and depression… but it wasn’t enough for me. I would try to train harder, run faster, lift heavier, but nothing helped. Then I started “dieting” and I was NOT dieting, I was just actually eating from all the food groups and guess what… things got better. I thought more clearly, I had more energy, I started sleeping through the night. I personally did intermittent fasting and it worked WONDERS for me. It’s not for everyone, so do your research before you start anything. 

LISTEN.

I started listening to podcasts. If you don’t know what podcasts are then your life is about to get so much better. Podcasts are basically like articles, stories, motivation speeches, and everything in between read to you aloud. I stumbled across podcasts when I was research intermittent fasting and I found Chalene Johnson. I started listening to podcasts when I worked out in the morning (at first because it took less data than Pandora) and things changed. It was like getting a motivational speech every morning! These talks were backed by research, guest speakers, and some even came with jokes (bonus). I felt good. Listening to a story while I was at the beach was more relaxing to me than laying there thinking how hopeless life was and wondering why I wasn’t tackling my to do list. Did you know our brains are smart, but they’re not smart enough to multi task? I learned it from a podcast! Whenever I feel myself getting worried or sad I listen to a podcast, or read a book.. then my mind focuses in on what I am listening to or reading and the worries and sadness go away. 

I am NOT a doctor, like I didn’t even take medical classes in college so I am NOT saying these things are proven, I am just letting you know what I wish someone would have told me.I have good days, and I have bad days too. But for the first time in a long time I have hope. Hope that things are going to be okay, that I am okay.

The Caribbean won’t solve your problems, sand between your toes is just stand between your toes, its not an antidote. I have a good life. I am VERY blessed. But that doesn’t mean I am immune to anxiety and depression. No one is.. and if you are PLEASE let me know how.

3 things to know before you cruise!

If you are cruising to the Caribbean soon, or plan to, or dream of it, PLEASE take like 3 minutes tor read this blog! I have worked in the Caribbean for almost two years now and I wish someone would teach even a quarter of the tourist on those ships that come in some “tourist etiquette.” So if I can stop one of you many world travelers from looking like an idiot than my work will be done but until then… read on and get prepared.. 

Also this blog is kind of more like a rant... so first enjoy this picture... 

Ohhh ahhh nice huh... Okay keep reading

KNOW WHERE YOU ARE! I have said this before in previous blog posts, but honestly it kills me how so many people do not know where they are. I get it, you’re on vacation, unplugged from the world, may have taken the free rum shots as you exited the cruise ship, but that helps you forget the date not where you are. When I was working in Grand Cayman (an island owned by the UK) people would get SO UPSET with me when I told them we did not offer military discount… think about it for a minute. 

Living in the US Virgin Islands I thought would be easier and I was less likely to run into “stupid tourist” please pause and watch me face palm myself. U.S. as in UNITED STATES. And yet everyday someone asks me “What does your money look like” “Why do you talk so good” and my favorite… “I am from America, do you know where that is?” 

I am not saying you need to learn the islands history or how many square miles the island is just if you are in the US or not and exactly WHAT island you are on.. here’s a tip, your cruise itinerary will tell you. And if you honestly don't know, just ask, in a nice way "is this a US island?" see how much nicer that is than asking "what your money look like?"

WHAT DO I GET FOR BEING ON THE SHIP? ummm… high five? My least favorite question and almost anyone who works with cruise ships in the Caribbean I can guarantee you hates this question too. So you are on the cruise ship, congratulations, and thank you for visiting this beautiful island I would love to help you in any way but giving you a discount on $2 golf tees just isn’t something I want nor can do. I know you are on the ship, if the ship wasn’t here I wouldn’t be working. PLEASE stop feeling so entitled and privileged because you are visiting the island for a few hours and came in on a fancy boat. 

Instead ask, "was there a discount for the ships?" That's a normal question, and most stores offer VIP discounts for cruise guests (they're the same regardless of your ship), then we can tell you what coupons are available for you, rather than you just assuming you get a discount because 'you're on the ship.'

My last piece of advice is to NEVER I repeat NEVER INSULT THE LOCALS. They can and will make your stay hell if you insult them. NEVER tell them their island is dirty, it's their home and they will tell you that tourist made it dirty. Do not tell them of other islands that are prettier, nicer, or more fun to visit.. again its their home. Remember you are VISITING and most likely you are only visiting for a day.. so embrace the culture, learn what you can from them, and enjoy their spunky personalities. 

So there you have it my 3 top pieces of advice before you cruise to the Caribbean. I am not saying everywhere you go will be the same and again these are fully just my opinions! I just strongly recommend them! Until next time... 

XOXO

Learning patience on island time

Well hello wonderful people who took the time out of your crazy hectic schedule to read this blog... I am going to talk to you today abut something that I have the biggest love/hate relationship with... patience... and how island living can cure the worse cases of impatient people.

Some of you may have read my first post about some of the negatives of the island, number one being island time! Yes, it's still a thing and it will always be a thing.

BUT...

It's not always the worst thing in the world. In fact this island can take the most impatient people in the world and well change them. I am an example of that..

Ask anyone who knows me and they can confirm I am so impatient. Like I don't even let the microwave beep when my food is ready because by the time it gets down to 1 second the food is already in my hands, that's how impatient I am. This lesson, you know this whole patience is a virtue thing, took a LONG time to learn.. actually it took a whole year.

On May 9th last year something that happened that started a snowball effect of my learning of patience. I missed my flight. I remember the date because it was my one year anniversary and I was moving to the virgin islands.

I missed my connecting flight.. meaning I would spend 12 hours in the Miami airport. If you have ever been stuck in the Miami airport you would know... they don't offer free wifi.. well, they do.. but only for the first 30 minutes! Just enough time for you to get wrapped up in a Criminal Minds episode and right when sexy Morgan is about to save the day BAM $6.99 for another 30 minutes... so lame.
I had just stayed up all night being stuck in the middle of two large men on a red eye flight from SLC to Miami, I was tired, took a nap on the floor and woke up in gum.. my patience was shot...

BUT lets rewind.. to about 5 minutes before I had missed my connecting flight. We ran to our connecting gate only to watch the gate agent shut the door and as she was shutting the door she pointed to customer service so we could be put on a different flight.. the local who was waiting to go home to St. Thomas looked at me and said "sweet now we don't have to go to work tomorrow"

I was so confused, instead of being upset or aggravated (like me) she was relaxed, calm, cool, and collected. I guess she could tell by my confused look because she laughed and said "sweetie, it happened there aint nothing we can do about it, might as well just relax"

That's when it all started. 

Being on island time for a year has changed me. Nobody on this island is in a hurry so why should you be? and if you are why? Whatever is meant to get done will get done, and time doesn't exist here so ya might as well not stress over it.

If you ever come to the Caribbean don't try to rush the locals, you can't change the culture.. and quite frankly you should take home some of the island vibe with you. If something happens to screw up your schedule RELAX. Be patient. There is nothing you can do to change it so why spend time complaining about it?

If the people around you aren't in a hurry.. then why should you be? Just think.. Will it change anything to worry or complain or yell at the person who made you late? What would the Caribbean locals do??

So next time you schedule gets messed up and you get stuck somewhere... enjoy it. Relax and take some time to enjoy alone time with yourself or enjoy the company of those around you because "Sweetie it happened there aint nothing we can do about it, might as well just relax."

3 things to know when shopping in the Caribbean

Well I am back!

So in my last blog post I posted about some things that make Caribbean living a little rough and I know it shocked a lot of people that Caribbean life isn't paradise 24/7. But most people had the question of how I got down here..

A cruise ship. My life revolves around cruise ships. I work for a company who's target market are cruisers. We are open when the ship is in and when they leave we leave. I revolve around floating hotels essentially. But what kills me is on an average day about 12,000 tourist come to the island by ship and only about 15% know where they're at or what they are doing. So here are 3 things locals would LOVE it if you knew before shopping.

#1- Know where you are
I cannot stress this enough.. seriously. When you brook your cruise they give you an itinerary and there is this wonderful tool called google. Put it together. I'm not asking you to know each islands history and their currency power. Just know the basics, the first line of google should be enough. When I was living in Grand Cayman (which is owned by the UK) people would constantly ask why we don't offer a military discount. PLEASE know where you are. Understand when you are international and when you are in the US. And if you don't know then just ask, locals are proud and will be happy to inform you. Or just turn on your cell phone and your next bill will inform you.

#2-Know where and when to bargain
Okay so this one may be purely for my sake. When you cruise to the Caribbean and if you are looking to shop someone on that ships sole job is to help you. They're called shopping guides. In order for a company to be listed as a "preferred shopping" they have to follow ethics rules and laws. Stick to these shops if you want to shop with confidence. Go to a ma and pa shop if you want to never hear or see them again once you step back on the boat. I am talking big purchases such as diamonds not just a typical hoodie. We are not all tents outside in Mexico. If you go into one of these preferred stores and try barginning you aren't asking the employee to help save you a couple dollars.. you're asking the employee to put their job on the line. If an employee says no we can't bargain here.. do not push it. Also you look like an idiot when you are buying $40 worth of stuff and are asking for a discount and the person next to you is buying $500 and hasn't asked for a thing.

#3-Don't let the free stuff ruin your vacation
I like free just as much as the next person, but don't waist your entire vacation going into various stores looking for free stuff. Sure it's just a tactic to get you into the stores and occasionally it can turn into a sale, but you would be surprised how many people come in full force demand their free stuff and bee line it right out of there. If you just want free stuff that's fine, but I will be the first to tell you, you are waisting your vacation. Don't pull up a map of all the stores and outline where you are going in order to get the most free stuff. You paid for a good vacation, not for cheap free give a aways. Go enjoy the beaches, culture, excursions, or go see the sights. That's the stuff you'll remember and you'll want to take home memories not free stuff.


I know I am completely biased on this stuff because I live in it. I don't mean to lecture anyone by this blog post some people just don't know. Don't know how to shop in the caribbean so this blog is to just inform you how to get the most of your vacation while picking up some stuff as well. I am all for shopping in the caribbean because well it's what gives me a job. Most people shop in the caribbean to avoid duties and taxes so it's not a bad idea at all to shop! Just be open to advice.

5 things to consider before moving to an island

I am doing it again..
Starting a blog. I have a lot of thoughts and I don't think its safe for them to all stay inside my head so for my personal sake, I am writing things down.

I guess I'll start by introducing myself, just because whenever I am faced with a blank sheet of paper I want it to know my history. My name is Alexa, I am married to my prince charming, I love to cook but never share my cooking because I'm self conscious, I hate camping, I run 4 retail stores, and oh yea.. I live on an island.

When I was younger I always wanted to be a "beach bum" and live near a beach, but I guess I've taken that one step further and now I am surrounded by beaches. I live in the Caribbean, where the palm trees high, the beaches are many, and the sun is always shining. I think the excitement of living on an island has started to wear off because I don't find it THAT cool anymore, but then I remember not many people can say they live on an island and only about 48,000 people can say they live on this island so that makes me feel pretty cool.

Now that the introduction is done, I want to talk to you about something A LOT of people ask me.

"So you live here?" That is the most common question I get when I go to work. I find it kind of a stupid question... I just checked you out and handed you your receipt, of course I live here. I don't come swimming in the with tide every morning, although that would be cool! The second question that always follows is what's it like? That is a question I can answer..

So what's it really like living on an island? There are some things you need to understand. Yes, it's paradise, yes its beautiful, and yes there is always a beach about 15 minutes away.. actually everything is 15 minutes away because we are that small of an island. But there are some down falls to living on an island (WHAT!? yes shocking I know). So if you really are thinking about moving to an island or if you're really curious what could possibly be bad about living on an island then read on.

Here are top 5 things you need to make sure you can handle before you pack your bags.

#1 Island time is a real thing..
I'm sure you have heard the expression "island time" but you probably don't know it's a real thing and sometimes it's a painful thing. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY is in a hurry here. If you want to go out and eat before catching a movie but only have 45 minutes, you can forget it. Nobody likes to be in a hurry here and since they're not in a hurry you shouldn't be either. If you live on the adrenaline of crowds, fast pace, and constantly changing environments the island lifestyle is not for you.

#2 We pay for it..
"Is it expensive to live down here?" Of course it is! If it wasn't there would be A LOT more people. Everything has to be boated or flown in which makes the price go up. A gallon of milk costs $6.88 (on a good day), gas is typically double the price of whatever it is in the states. Rent? yes very expensive.. and utilities.. crazy expensive. If you run your AC you're considered rich. Average utility bill around here is a game. I've seen everything from $100/month to $600/month. It pays to live in paradise.

#3 There are bugs EVERYWHERE
Lets not limit ourselves here there are bugs, lizards, frogs, ants, and sometimes even snakes that can get in your house without you even knowing it. They know how to survive. I swear sometimes I should get a medal for how many creatures I've caught inside my house (okay fine my husband should get the medal). If I leave food out it will be COVERED in ants within the hour. Left my door open for too long? A lizard has found its new shelter and those things are quick so wish me luck catching it! The mosquitoes down here are fierce and they love fresh blood. Heard of sand fleas? They're real and they suck. If you think you walking on the beach at sunset will become part of your nightly routine, it won't with those babies around, they attack and have no mercy. Worst part you won't know you got attacked until the next morning when the itching bumps appear.

#4 We honk.. at everything
I don't know if this applies to all islands but the two I have lived on this is very true. We honk to say thank you, screw you, move, hurry, look out, and hey it's Tuesday There aren't really rules here when it comes to driving.. they're more like guidelines. The goal is to be aggressive but defensive, the roads are narrow, and the hills are high. Oh and we drive on the left.. So right is wrong and left is right and if you don't act fast enough you'll get honked at, and if you act too fast you'll get honked at, just plan on being honked at. Also 2 for 1. The islanders are crazy nice when it comes to letting people in on a busy road because remember no on is in a hurry so it doesn't matter if they let 6 more cars in front of them go. BUT remember 2 for 1. If you are letting a car in or go in front of you the second car will follow. It's a guideline or some type of unwritten rule if one car pulls out in front of you (it will happen) just stop because the second car is going to do it to weather you want them to or not. Oh and they'll probably honk the whole time.

#5 Karma... we take it very seriously. 
My absolute favorite part about living on this island is the people. They are some of the nicest and most caring people you will ever meet... but only if you say good morning. Good morning is from early to EXACTLY noon then its good afternoon until dark, and from dark on you say good night.. to EVERYONE. If we are walking on the street we say it, we say it at the tax office, DMV, restaurants, and pretty much anywhere and everywhere. If you don't say it, they won't be nice to you. I believe islanders take karma into their own hands, since you didn't give them a proper greeting they don't have to be nice to you. Fair is fair. I have seen multiple times people come into a store and ask where the bathroom is.. no hello, morning, or anything just a demand to know where the bathroom is.. so taking karma into their own hands they will point them in the opposite direction. It pays to be nice here. This island isn't praised on customer service and people complain the islanders are so mean.. but chances are its your own fault you got treated that way, you didn't say good morning. Karma, she lives on this island


So there are 5 things in my opinion you need to heavily consider if you want to live on this island. This is just my experience and things I have noticed from living on islands, but if you were to ask me if the good outweigh the bad I wouldn't even hesitate to say yes.
Just remember the island isn't for everyone and living here is different than vacationing here. If you can handle those 5 things you can make it here. Then you can enjoy the relaxed atmosphere, calming beaches, and you get to say you live in paradise.